After a betrayal, we are often at a loss at the next thing to do. We are faced with the shock it leaves as well as the right thing to do. One of my experiences with betrayal left me with great lessons I will gladly share here.
It all began like every other day. We were friends, or so I supposed. We had agreed on what to do as we approached the stage. I could see the crowd.
I felt their passion as they all waited in excitement. They clapped in admiration as we walked up the stage, but their excitement was not to last.
I was set and ready to thrill the crowd. But little did I know my friend was not prepared. I tried to play a sound, but the more I tried, the more she failed to respond.
O dear! Our years of friendship was on edge. It was so embarrassing. My Saxophone has just betrayed me! Even though I tested it and rehearsed for hours before coming here, I have just been BETRAYED by my saxophone!
Huh! What a day with my Saxophone.
Hold on a minute! This was a serious matter.
I love my Saxophone. She’s my darling and has been faithful for many years, but on this very day, she betrayed me, gave me no signs she was going to embarrass me and left me bewildered by her betrayal.
I am sure we have all had the feeling of betrayal from a friend, a spouse, a colleague, the government, a service provider or even a family member.
No matter how it comes,
A betrayal could be your worst nightmare.
You’re not prepared for it!
That’s it. It wouldn’t be a betrayal if you knew it was going to happen.
A Betrayal of trust, infidelity, or heartbreak can send chills down your spine, leaving great scars which could take years to fade.
So, I had to do something!
But, like all misfortunes, we have to move on.
Before I tell you what I did to my Saxophone, please avoid the following after a betrayal:
- Stop recounting the experience. This will only hurt you more. Resist this temptation!
- Avoid the blame game. This is most natural. You’ll gain nothing by releasing this negative energy. Even though the blame is accepted, it won’t change the past.
- Avoid talking to the wrong people. These are people who derive joy in the story than on the way forward. They’re simply out to hear from the Horse’s mouth so they can become official publishers of your misfortune.
- Do not be overtaken by self-pity. It is said that to err is human. Anyone could fall prey to a betrayal. You were not too naïve, insensitive or insecure to have noticed the signs of an emerging betrayal. Always remember that Shit Happens and Your Case is not unique.
- Do not lose sight of the Big Picture. Before the betrayal, you had a plan. For a moment, imagine that the betrayal did not occur. Remember the journey so far and let your moderation determine what you would do next. Keep your eyes on this!
Remember, No one turns into a Scorpion because he/she was beaten by a Scorpion.
I’ll still keep it simple.
Having avoided all these, WHAT NEXT?
- Move on. Do what you need to do. A betrayal does not define you. It only shows how weak the betrayer is. The action wasn’t yours, so the betrayer bears the grunt. Don’t get a headache from another man’s punched face.
- Find time to reflect. While you avoid not reliving the past, find time to unburden your pain. This could be alone or with a confidant. A careful reflection will help you heal faster.
- Get to meet your betrayer. There are chances that a betrayer may have acted ignorantly, was influenced or simply out to ruin you. You need to know this before you lose a strong ally to your enemies. Facing the truth may hurt, but you move on faster over time.
- Once Again, Move On! Now you’ve wrapped up the past, move on. Tomorrow is a brighter day and you should not sacrifice its promises because of one betrayal.
But what if you’re the BETRAYER?
Am I forgetting something? Yesssss, my Saxophone.
Well, here we are, still friends
After the incident on stage, I just picked it up sat down a while and noticed something had gone in between one of the keys and caused a temporary distuning. It cost me a couple of minutes and the embarrassment. But I fixed it, kept my cool and got back on stage.
I never made reference to it as you may hear musicians blame the microphone or the sound engineer for stage distractions. It was my show and not the saxophone’s and I kept the vibe. Today, I’m more careful to have a thorough check before getting on stage.
Surviving A Betrayal Is A Gift. It Makes You More Careful
She betrayed me, but I got over the feeling, and separated the Sax from the betrayal.
I did not throw it away. I overcame the shock, picked it up and re-examined it and have played another year with it, touching more lives with my gift.
I could have passed it off as spoilt, thrown it away or given it up for sale, mostly because I felt embarrassed and betrayed.
Yet, as with all betrayals, we must find time and see things in perspective, heal and Move on to a brighter day.
NO ONE TURNS INTO A SCORPION BECAUSE HE/SHE WAS BEATEN BY A SCORPION.
I was betrayed, but the choice to hate is mine.
I hope you enjoyed this post.
As a community, I invite you to share your story and inspire someone today.
Are you going through a betrayal? How did you overcome your last betrayal?
I’d be excited to share with you, as well as many other people struggling with the shock of a betrayal.
Kindly leave a comment below and share this post with a friend. You may be helping to heal a broken heart.